♥ Oh, Whatever.

Checks Phone Checks Phone Again Checks Phone

2009-07-28T01:44:00.000-07:00

best friends : the ones that you can get mad at for only an hour

because you have important stuff to tell them.

I don't know what i am about to write but what i do know is that i have an amazing erge to write. This is most likely going to result in me becoming extremely pissed off because i don't know what i'm going to write next so i will just give up. I just sat for five minutes with my hands on my lap trying to figure out what to write about. I'm going to ask someone for a topic.

Kaitlyn says i should write about how in love with her i am.

Izwan says i should write about how good looking he is.

Kaitlyn, well hot diggity dog. She's a hottie. I probably traumatised her with my random outbursts about contortionists. I don't see her as much as i would like to.We came up with the excuse that we are both lard to actually move to see each other, but i have a great feeling that this is going to change if Bradley dosen't steal you every weekend. Either way, i love you.

Izwan, he used to live behind me. Then i moved. To tell you the truth, i don't know how good looking he is because i generally see him when i'm off my face. It seems to me that he thinks he's rather attractive. I suppose we'll all just have to take his words for it :D

I'm gonna ask a zillion people what i should write about and i will do whatever they say. But I've got to post this so i don't keep those two hoes waiting. So, i'll do another one or two or 1798568894458632568891 soon (:

Unintentional, I Don't Know Why All This Is Coming Out.

2009-07-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

-Cousins-

I'm scared to admit that you might have feelings. I try as hard as I possibly can just to put down everything you say, because it cannot be true can it? I'm just me, leave me alone, don't like me, don't love me. I will never love you back. I have no heart left to love or I never had one in the first place. I can't like anyone but I still kid myself. I hate that I feel nothing for you, and yet I tell you I do. Please don't talk to me. Why would you go out of your way to get to know me? I'm just me. I will try to avoid you at all costs, I'm too scared to fall... Because then what? what after that? It makes me feel physically sick sometimes that i DO like you so much. What can I do. I want to like you without your feelings in return. Maybe it would be best if I just disappeared out of your life. wish i could just disappear.

I'm extremely happy.

2009-07-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

I'm just waiting for Raif's call, he said Allison & Sean wanted to catch a movie i don't know what movie. Anyways, no idea, why i put that as the title. I haven't typed in awhile though. I've just been busy with dance practices, school, and junkkkkk. Right now, i'm in a gooooood mood (:

Oh yea, met this new guy, Nick. Well, we just started "dating" a couple weeks ago (like every chance we get) He likes me, but i don't know. I'm too shy or something. I know right? Dosen't sound like ashlee... but maybe i really like him or something and i don't wanna mess it up? I am not sure. Let's just say, it's probably a crush but i hope something comes of it.

- Friday:

Yesterday had ups and downs.

First, I avoided him the best that i could.

I don't like drama when it concerns me.

Nick gave me a hug the first second I saw him and he drew

me a cute little picture thing that said "You should meet this

girl ashlee, she'll teach you to be pretty"

When i read that, i smiled. A lot.

I had a fairly decent half day from there.

Just in case adults get involve in this, i won't make any comments

on this.

I'm totally over it though.

I got another hug out of it so it was worth it.

Then it was dance practice.

We get into the studio for like 10 minutes and have to get changed in

like 5.

That's not enough time for me.

So i ended looking like crapp, but that's alright.

He said i looked beautiful either way (:

Then on the bus we played iPod games and just sat there.

Talked to them the rest of the way home.

Then i babysat.

The kids are so cute. Their really good for the most part (:

I've got trouble thoughts and a self-esteem to match, what a catch.

2009-07-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Why wont you let me go? You've got my heart in a death grip, squeezing until I cant live anymore. You aren't good for me. I can't eat, my thoughts make no sense. My parents are worried, asking me "why wont you talk". They think they've done something wrong but it isn't them. It's you. I don't know what to do.Let go of my heart. Please let go of my heart. Break it for all I care.Throw it on the ground and stomp on it. Without you, I won't be able to breathe for a while. But it's all about learning to breathe again. I'll learn to live again without you, like you will for me. We don't need this to stay alive. What I need is my life. I'm sorry.

Just let me plug you into my world

2009-07-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

When i listen to them, they remind me of you.. It's comforting when you're not here.

I am listening to them.

One song in particular was running through my head, earlier on today.

This afternoon. It always makes me happy when i listen to that song.

Reminds me of you.

Today i said it. I do not regret it. Because i am, i know now.

Stuttering and sniffling, a teardrop down my face.. along with another three.

I said it.

I'm in love with you.

That's Just The Way It Is.

2009-07-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

It's silly how you lie to me.
whats the point in lying about it when
you know that i already know the truth.
i dont like you
and you don't like me.
fair enough - just please stop talking shit about me.
your being so pathetic about it all.
he is yours, happy? :)
end of story.

You Don't Need To Know Who.

2009-07-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

Ijan & Ashlee

That's how bestfriends look like :D

1) I hope his skateboard breaks

2) I hope someday his rotten heart would subside

3) I hope i'll get the chance to strangle him the next time he piss me off

4) I hope he'll realise how freakin useless his friends are

5) I think that everything he said was bullshit

6) I think that he is the most irritating guy in the whole wide world

7) I think that he is very self-centered

8) I think that he is crazy when he gets angry

Theres just so much more... And right now i can't even think of anything positive about him. Cause there simply isn't anything like for real!! I'm not sure of how i'm feeling though but oh my.. i miss being loved and cared so much. It is so damn irritating when he's full of himself most of the time. And not forgetting, when the whole conversation of ours would turn into his complaining session with me.

I Made The Damn List.

2009-07-18T08:15:00.001-07:00

Saturday night.

Drinks at Days, i hardly drank though,

not just because i was totally hooked on the grape soda

more than alcohol, BUT

because.. i was totally hooked on the grape soda

more than the alcohol. haha.

Seriously now, grape sodas dooope.

i hate how i cant go a day without talking to you.
i hate how upset you make me.
i hate you having fun without me.

i hate how you lie to me.

i hate how you gave up.
i hate how im about to.
i hate how easy it is for you to make me smile.

i hate you sometimes. ergh. ):

Quick Update:

2009-07-16T23:42:00.000-07:00

I am getting really sick ):

Stayed at Alex's house last night - we watched a few movies and ate lots of junk. Was fun :)

Can't wait for saturday! (:

2009-07-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

You know what i really really hate? and they say hate is a strong word.

I hate DOTA! i hope it just vanishes. It sickens me that MY BROTHER or

should i say BOYS ignoring or telling off their girlfriends, mums,

dads, brothers, sisters to fuck off because their little gay person is

getting killed.

And to my brother, When i tell you to turn it off, don't tell me without

loooking at me in the face that you can't cause you're on level 15 & you're

pwning all the noobs and you'll get banned for leaving just like that,

because i don't care!

Seriously, even the people in class talks alot about it.

dota, dota, dota, dota, dota..

dota i hope you burn in hell like a piece of shit.

Today..

2009-07-15T06:29:00.001-07:00

...the weather was so shit today. Curled my hair, but by the

time i got to school the rain had turned it straight :(

ILYART.the teacher gave us our next project, to design a

skateboard.. i chose to do a portrait of Kat Von D, and have some of

her best tattoos as an underlayer, along with her name up the top.

Exciting!

Because It's So Cool To Me

2009-07-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

- I Don't Even Know Why HomeBoy Took His Shirt Off? Drunk? -

- Jake Testing My Dope Drink-

- Jess Being All Cute-

So i went to Jess's House,

to chillll, because Sean was too cool to bum with us,

he rekons to go and have some other chick to chill with,

because it seems i'm not dope enough to spend tuesday night with anymore :(

Awww..

BooHoo..

ANYWAY.

I got on my mixing game,

and started mixing different alcohol together.

I swear i should be a bartender, haha. I'm always making killer made up drinks

and calling them all gay names.

and to be honest, i don't even remember half the thing i mix..

hahahaha who cares, it tastes good anyways.

Then Jess's rents called,

and told her to go to her Aunt's house to pick something up.

Me and Jake weren't even sure what was happening,

but we just went anyway.

Little did we know, her Aunt lived like 2 hours away??!! - Gahhh.

2Hours with a drunk Jake and the radio is pretty much as shit as it gets.

I tried to get drunk so it wouldn't be so bad,

but i couldn't :( Dang it, i don't know, usually i'm hella light weight,

gets drunk when i want to, but my body rekons to be a stubborn dude.

When we got to Jess's Aunt's place,

Me and Jake just hella played in the elevator

up and down

hahahahah it was fun, i think?

Well, i don't know i might have just been buzzing on the alcohol

but i swear we were having so much fun.

Then after that. Home Sweet Home.

I think i fell asleep in the car?

Hmm..

K BYE.

xoxoxoxoxox

Mad Bored

2009-07-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

Only because i'm mad bored
and waitin for Kyle & Natasha to come over.

shall we begin?

Do you and your last ex hate each other?
i dont :) im a lover not a hater.
Is your room ever clean?
yeah, but like no. Kinda messy,
thats really bad, but im working on it.
Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
yeah, feels like everyday to me. haha
Will you be in a relationship next month?
hahahaha idk.
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Ate my McChicken meal and blue fanta slurpee :)
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Yess, when its hot.
Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough?
Uhmm. no. I'm perfect. haha.
Are you wasting your time on someone?
yeahhh, but dont worry. i got time to waste :)
How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
oh yeah because retarded people count that sort of thing
How late did you stay up last night?
not very, fell asleep like 3ish i think?
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
nahhh, wait yeah, salleh & mummy i think?
What are you currently hearing?
Tila Tequila - I Love You.
Im telling you, she's about to be a problem
Has anyone called you babe today?
noooooooooo yes.
tawny always does.
Do you think you can be in love with someone without trusting them?
whooooa.. no clue..
proly not.. wait maybe? i duno.. make me fall inlove with you and we'll see.
(i dont trust surveys.. EVER)
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Nehh, im chillen.
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Wes, the other night i think.
wait scratch that, i think my brother got snapped by a speeding camera this morning
so if thats the case, my brother :)
What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Rolled over and turned my ipod on.
i love music in the mornings.
Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?
yeah.. i can stay mad for long, like.. 2weeks at the most.
Are you hiding something from someone?
yeah .. but i cant say.. yet..
Regret anything you did today?
no. regret's for chumps.
How do you handle a break up?
Depends.. im usually cool with if its mutual
and not a he said she said situation, if it is,
im a witch hahah i swear i get so pissed
Will tomorrow be better then today?
If i make it be :)
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Uhmm .. maybe tho?
Is there something you want to tell someone?
Yes, but too lazy, i'll get at them later
Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Nahhh, maybe 1 or 2 ..
but not 3. Who the hell do you think i am?!
Is something bothering you?
A little, but i got doper things on my mind so it aint a thangg
Do you have any friends with kids?
yeahh :) they're adorabubbleeee
already working on a master plan to steal them.. jst kidding..
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Dunno, i was on msn then i hopped off, went to meet sean for awhile, came home,
ate, ipod, sleep. ahaha so all of the above.
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
Nah, hahah is that bad?
does that totally mean no-one loves me :(
coz if thats the case, ill run outside right now and find someone to hold hands with
Think a lot before you fall asleep?
Too much lol
Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
yeahh :) for sure!
Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
no sir.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?

yeahh.
Closest blue object to you?
I have heap of denim laying in a pile right next to me
(i was tryna find demin corsette shirt, that was fail since i finally remembered lending it out to someone)
Is your hair up or down right now?
Down and wet. haha
Last thing you spent your money on?
Pack of lollipops :D
What does your mum call you?
Ash.. its my name silly.
but when she's mad at me, she's all ASHLEE REGAN! GET OVER HERE!
thats when i run away.
Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
yeahh, i have pretty great conversation friends
Do you like your life right now?
Yeah, its all good
i dont like bein mad with myself, so i forgive myself for stupid choices
and be sweet with my life :) dont you?
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
Hahaha good lord, today! F**king sales lady needed it! im telling you!
What colour shirt are you wearing?
Blue plaid
Do you like hugs and kisses?
Very much.

Pain's my bestie.

2009-07-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, when i was in pain & the others were laughing their ass off.

While Alyssa Captures A Picture -_-

Hectic Gamers at my place.

I Broke 1/2 Toe :(

I think i forgot to write how it hurt, here's the story.

It was today, Sunday of loozecontrol week.

I was chilling at home with my two brothers, Alyssa, Sean and Hakim and some of my brothers friends which i don't know their names :X

And Sean kept stealing my chips :(

(Future Reference: Don't EVER steal Ashlee's chips)

While the others were watching Harper's Island,

I was planning on hitting him with the microwave door when he came into the kitchen,

and i had all the lights turn off, and the setup was dope, and all i had to do was push the stupid microwave button and it'll fling open and wack that sucker in the mouth.

But then i had to be all hungry and try and reach for my chips that i had on the counter,

and the microwave slipped off the bench and i caught it hella fast :)

But seems.. my hands were not as strong as i thought they were, and my foot wasn't

where i thought it was, and i dropped that shit on my foot. And i'm telling you,

dropping a microwave on your foot hurts like a motherf**ker. omg.

It was so sore. Then i just chilled off it for the night i guess.

-Sean, you're lucky... for now-

This concludes Ashlee's foot story.

Hope you kids learned something today :)

Where's a pharmacy when you need it!

2009-07-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

I CANT SLEEEEEEEP!

im like DYING to sleep and dream!

i NEED nana's REMIDIES!

like NOW DAMMIT!

Hmmmm, it's 6.30am. So yes, i can't sleep and i need to get up in about 5hours.

Which is gonna suck because i need my A game on tomorrow, and that's apparently not gonna happen. For

christmas, can someone drive to the drugstore and get me sleep aid? Then maybe i'll o.d in

mexico. Thanks to someone, who thought i was just having a simple share and hear

conversation with, my feelings for Robert Pattinson are rekindling! NOOOOO!

Okay, i'm gonna watch some late night cartoons. I mean, early morning cartoons.

They usually do the trick.

Night Ch'yall. xox

As of "Right Now"

2009-07-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

-Best Cousins (:
- Awww. He loves me.

- Angel.Ashlee.Allison.

This is a right now post.

Which is going to become cool, and people will copy.

So go ahead, take notes.

HA! You want me. ahahaha.

ANYWAY;

Right now i am chilling at Allison's crib.

Haiqal is currently looking over my shoulder and telling me shit to write

"Sean is a homo. Sean is a homo. Sean is a homo"

You get the idea? Now he's smelling my hair?

- Oh yeah man because thats creepy :D

Sean's on the ground playing pokemon trainer, Allison's on the tv and Angel's asleeep.

I was kicking Sean earlier and he spazzed out at me hahaha.

was the most funniest thing.

*Ashlee kicks Sean*

S: F**king WHATTTTTT!!??

A: Nothing. Whats up?

S: F**king GOOO AWAYY!!

*Ashlee kicks Sean again*

A: Go where?

S: F**king POKEMON TRAINER!!!

A: I can dig it.

S: STOOOOPPPP!!

*Ashlee kicks Sean once again*

*Sean gets up, throws gameboy on the bed. Death stares me, and says calmly*

S: Disturb me and pokemon trainer again, and i will not hesitate to pimp slap you.

A: I dig it too.

S: ARGHHHH!!!

*Grabs pokemon trainer and runs to the other room*

HAHAHAHAH.

Sean YOU THE MAN.

Haiqal is the best.

No, he's not.

I AM!!

ahahahaahahaha

Ok, the end of our right now post.

BYE FROM ASHLEE

bye bye from Haiqal

-Sean dosen't wanna say bye-

Nothing gets past you bud ;)

2009-07-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

- Got some pictures up of my lil cousin. (i swear shes the cutest, you have to cuddle her IM TELLIN YOU!) + she wanted cuddlesh (: but i wanted to take her pic instead haha, she slapped me and said NO! to me after that lol yeah i get served by her, and what.
I absolutely LOVE seeing people that you havent seen in foreverrrrrr. Even though ironically i hate not seeing people because i miss them too much, im always down for the hella tackle cuddle.

Real quick,

Is it just me? Or is everyones feet abnormally cold? Dang, I needa help that.

Anyway back to what i was on about.

K, so i was chillin', i think i was watching Gossip Girls.. (yeah i watch that - pretty boy is indeed pretty haha) and then i get a text from Firdaus...

Now i probably gotta get into a quick history lesson for the people who don't know Firdaus. I've known him since i was.. 11yrs old, and i've been through everything with this dude, i mean everythaaannngg, from funerals, to fights, to him having the biggest crush on me, to me cat fighting his gf, and hella more. Like you get the idea, i've been around him a long while, for hella random shit to happen. I think we argued at one stage? ahahah it was nothing though, obviously or i wouldn't have laughed when i said that, but he's like my 2nd brother. (actually that's not accurate, he'd be my 3rd brother, but you get it right? haha) ANYWAY. He moved away last year to Melbourne (btw, f**k you Melbourne LOL) and then yeah, we were limited to msn + phone relationship which was all good.

So the text said "let's play, go to 7-eleven"

That was his exact text btw, and i was like.. wtf (-_-) haha. so i texted him back saying

"Is someone gonna kidnap me, knock me the hellout, and when i wake up i'll be wearing

marilyn mansons wardrobe with red bull taped to my left hand, and dudes number in my

right, with half lit cigarette, and jay-z music playing in the background. Then when i

stand up i realize i was sitting on blind racoon?" haha i wrote stupid shit like that often,

and he replied back.

"what the f**k are you on, come to 7-eleven NOW"

So i was kinda you know, confused as. But i went anyway just because i wanted

a slurpee. AND, he was totally at 7-eleven! i died.

I'm not even playing, it was soooooo dope to see him. and yes. story of tonight.

I impress myself sometimes. haha.

Ummm, the rest is just typical stuff. We talked, caught up, bla bla and yazzur, he's going

back to melbourne on Tuesday. So that's gay. But i'm good with it.

You see, i often get really close with people, and start to rely the hell out of them, just

ask Zay haha. I've been on him for like a lil over a year now, and its actually really sad

that i do that, haha and Jaicey used to be one of those people, then he left, and i died. LOL.

But being away with him like kinda showed me that i ddn't actually NEED him as much

as i thought i did.WHY!?

blog meet ashlee's new bangs. bangs meet ashlee's blog.

2009-07-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

H: oi that dudes totally staring at you!

A: like at me? or like AT me

H: wtf? AT YOU!

A: should i smile and wave?

H: nah lets go ask him whats his problem!

*walks over to dude*

H: why do you keep staring at my friend huh? do you gotta problem huh!?

D: oh hey ashlee

A: oh .. hi guy ive never met before but somehow knows my name

D: its Dyllin :) .. remember?

*ashlee remembers him, do yall remember him?*

A: ohhhh, hey :)

D: do you like hannah montanna?

A: huh .. what .. no ..

*heather screams from the otherside of the room*

H: BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED HANNAH MONTANNA! D;

yeah, thats totally a hannah montanna flyer im sucking to my mouth.

so what!